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Almost absolutely NOT the 15 Worst Movie Taglines Ever Written

February 3rd, 2010  |  Published in All Posts

I’m so friggin’ busy today that all I’m doing it re-posting other people’s shit… why, I just feel so legitimately like a real blogger now! Whoo!

Anyway, this list of The 15 Worst Movie Taglines Ever Written is one of those “top” or “best” or “worst” lists where I just have to call bullshit from the get go.  Most of the time, the lists are really there to spur a discussion, like a magazine does the best albums of all time, or best movies of all time, or whatever.  People are bound to disagree and talk about it on the radio or whatever and the site or magazine gets a lot of action from the effort.  Good for them, job well done.

Then you’ve got this list where, I think the guy just gave up after the first couple of “worsts” he found and just started listing shit that was outside of his window.

For instance, The Day of The Dolphin, which is this absolutely tragedy of a movie that actually starred George C. Scott (he was in Patton… go ask your dad) led with, “Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States.”  I’m sorry, but that’s just gold!  What else were they supposed to say about this turd?

So, maybe that one’s just so epic bad that it’s good, but some of these are actually just good.  For instance, they give some shit to the sequel to “Crank”, which was just called “Crank: High Voltage”, for using the line, “He was dead… but he got better.” That’s actually not bad, it’s totally accurate… the main character died at the end of the first one, then they brought him back in the second.  Anybody who saw the first knows he died at the end, and the folks at the ad company knew they had to explain what he was doing walking around pretty early, so there you go.

Anyway, you’ll see my point… it’s just a dumbass, lazy list and I hate myself a little for even linking to the shit, but what can I say, I’m a whore for to the CPM.

J.


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