Actually, I probably shouldn’t say that all the stories in the Angie’s List commercials are made up. Some of them are quite believable and totally based in reality.

But this one is just bullshit:

Here’s how I know… pregnant women are batshit crazy.

Now, I don’t have any kids of my own, but I’ve been around plenty of pregnant women in my time and ladies let me just tell you something: you crazy. Never have I seen a group of people lose their shit so often as when women are pregnant.

Now, don’t get me wrong… you actually have every right to be crazy in this instance. Pregnancy has just got to suck. I don’t care how prepared you think you are and how much you celebrate the arrival of a new life, but pregnancy just looks like a gross, painful mess that you couldn’t pay me enough to even consider. I used to tell this joke just to sound like an asshole where I would say, “How do we know pregnancy is so uncomfortable? We only have the womenfolk’s word to take here. Frankly, I say they’re effing with us just to get more attention.” But it never worked… women hated it for obvious reasons and men were just terrified to laugh at it in front of women, so I just looked like an asshole without getting a laugh, so why bother.

Anyway, my point here is that, frankly, I think the “real” woman who wrote this review is probably making the tennis outfit thing up. I was with her up until that part came out. Shit happens and doctor’s have lives too, but the chariacture of the golf playing doctor is a little old school to still work.

I’m pretty sure the original story this women told was much worse and probably involved the doctor transforming into a magical wizard that cursed the baby to burp fire for all eternity and then he took a dump in her room before flying off on a machine that ran on nightmares and the tears of orphans. I can see why Angie’s List would need to tone that down for the ad, but come on, let’s be honest. At worst, the doctor just split early because he really did have another appointment for something more important, like a breech birth or whatever and this chick’s feelings just got a little bruised. Mix in some raging postpartum hormones and viola’, instant crazy pregnant lady story.

My mom always claimed there was an earthquake the day she brought me home from the hospital, but that was probably downgraded from a much more fanciful story of the 7th Seal being broken…

- Jeff Ferguson

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