This is going to come off terribly geeky, but whatever. In the book, Timeline by Michael Crichton, there’s a discussion where the scientist that created time travel is chatting with one of the time travelers he’s sent out to record Abe Lincoln delivering the Gettysburg Address. The scientist is mystified by the fact that Abe Lincoln’s voice is not, as we usually believe, the dulcet tones of the historical orator, but instead, kind of high pitched and squeaky.

The point he was trying to make was, there are certain things in history we believe because we have romanticized the idea to a point of perfection, but in reality, unless we actually have a recording of someone’s voice, it’s really just a strong guess at best.

With all that scientific crap out of the way, why the hell did ARCO decide it needed to make Ben Franklin sound like a damned leprechaun in this radio spot?

ARCO – Ben Franklin

I mean, they could have made his voice sound like anything they like, but here it just sounds like he’s there to protect his pot o’ gold rather than help write the declaration of independence.  The guy is on the $100 bill for christ’s sake and they have him saying “sweet shiny nickles” like he was Gollum with his Precious.

ARCO, you’ve ruined Franklin for me.  The next time I do blow off a hooker’s ass, I shall use a twenty…

J.

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