Let’s be honest here, who didn’t see this one coming?  According to TechDirt this morning, LifeLock has to pay $12 million for bogus advertising, little actual protection and awful security.  If you don’t recall these ads, here’s one of the long form versions that would run on late night TV:

I remember when these spots started showing up on the radio and TV and thinking, “look at the sack on this mofo!” Not just for the fact that he put his own social security number on the line, but because I already knew the service he was providing was a big load of crap.

If you didn’t know, putting security holds on your credit reports are something that you can do for free with all of the credit reporting services. It basically keeps people from looking at your scores unless you really, really want them to. Sure, you have to contact the three different companies yourself, but you can do it fairly quick these days. By the way, same goes with getting your credit report… totally free. I know you love the little jingles from FreeCreditReport.com, but they are really pushing something you can get for free anyway so that they can sell you a similar credit monitoring service. Hell, half of you just read that twice and will still go to either site when the need arrives… ya big pack of zombies.

Anyway, if you read the TechDirt article, you’ll see that not only did the company get popped for bogus claims in their advertising (which takes a lot, by the way), the CEO in the commercial actually got his identity stolen. That’s just a big sack of awesome right there.

If that wasn’t awesome enough for you, the idiot actually went to the house of guy who stole his identity to get a confession out of him. Now that’s a service I would pay for! Hell, if I knew that someone from LifeLock was personally going to go to the home of a guy who snagged a loan using my social security and smacked him around a little, you could name your price for the service and I would pay it with a big goofy grin on my face.

But only if it included a video of the ass kicking… I’m not paying good money for a stern talking to here…

J.

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