I am not a parent nor have I ever changed a diaper. I love playing with my friend’s kids — mostly because we are essentially at the same IQ level — right until they need to be changed. Then I give em right back. Quickly!  So this little insert really caught my eye:

OK, for starters it says the word “poo,” which I don’t believe I’ve ever seen in advertising before. That threw me a curve but I don’t actually hate that from an advertising perspective. It’s attention getting.

Then there’s the fact that “on the right side of the wipe,” is in brown on a background that I can only assume is the pattern on an actual wipe. That’s a little distrubing but fairly subtle so let’s overlook that also.

What finally pushed me over the edge was the fingerprint just above the coupon. It’s in brown — poo color — and reads “live poo free.” What the hell is that? A poo fingerprint in my Sunday newspaper? I’m eating Cheerios here people! Don’t make me barf.

What message is that sending? Is it some kind of new salute for parents, like when Iraqi voters had blue ink on their fingers? Do parents hold them up in public to acknowledge each other? I can just imagine two mother’s talking at the park. One says “I don’t really like Janie’s mom.” To which the other replies, “No, she’s fine. I checked, she’s got the poo finger.”

Finally, isn’t the slogan counter-productive to toilet training? Isn’t the message of “live poo free” going to lead impressionable youngsters to try and not poo leading to more accidents and confusion?

I think I’ll go lay down before I throw up.