First, you should all bow down to me for risking my neck and my stellar (COUGH!) driving record to snap this picture of an UltraTouch Heated Toilet Seats delivery truck. Second, I’d like to thank UltraTouch for throwing me a softball of a posting by creating this moving insult to o’ so many things.

There are plenty of times when I see really bad advertising around town or on TV and ask, why do we even need ad agencies?  For instance, there were four really great, brand-centric Super Bowl ads that were created as part of a contest that put a lot of the agency generated shit to shame.

Then I see stuff like this truck for UltraTouch Heated Toilet Seats running around my city and I’m reminded why we still need their presence in the world.

Ads created by internal teams can be hard to spot sometimes.  But the quality of the internal ad is usually directly proportionate to the goofiness of the product that is being sold, like, say for instance, a heated toilet seat.

There has to be someone at least somewhat educated in that company to pull using Rodin’s The Thinker out of their heated ass. But I can’t imagine where that education came from if they decided it was cool to throw some pants around the ankles of what is supposed to be a representation of Dante contemplating souls cast into hell (what? too much? should I just go back to saying “fuck” a lot?).

You just have to love the call to action here, “Honk if you like warm buns!”  This truck was running around during rush hour in Los Angeles… trust me, we don’t need any more honking.

I don’t usually get into messing with the product because, let’s face it, most bad ads do enough damage.  But I have to ask here, who thought it was a good idea to have something that plugs into ELECTRICITY sitting atop a large bowl of water?  There isn’t a government stamp in the world that would prove to me that this thing is safe for my frozen ass.

J.

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