Published August 1st, 2011
Let’s get one thing clear right from the start – people are assholes. Which people you may ask? All of them, all people are assholes. Me, you, them. All colors, all races, all creeds, and all religions. When it all comes down to it, we’re all a bunch of assholes.
The biggest assholes of them all are the assholes who think everybody except them is an asshole. I really hate those assholes because most of the time those assholes are a special kind of asshole, the racist asshole.
You’ve seen this asshole around for sure. The minor ones just talk shit when things aren’t going their way and usually blame some sort of special treatment on a program to hold their race back while other flourish. The major ones actually do some damage by blowing shit up or hurting people.
Then there are the kind of racists that are trying to sell you stuff… wait a minute, that kind of asshole doesn’t actually exist. Sorry for the confusion.
Are the folks at DirecTV racists assholes?
You see, if you’re in the business of selling shit, whether is is via an advertisement or the creation of a product, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re not a racist because it’s not in your best interest to piss off the people that are making you money. Do you see the logic here?
For instance, DirecTV just pulled down one of its ads from YouTube because they were getting a bunch of comments saying that it was racist. This is pretty amazing because, the whole series of ads are based on the same premise, some overly rich asshole that sees DirecTV as the ultimate luxury entertainment. The difference in each ad is who the asshole is and where he comes from. There’s a rich Russian asshole, there’s a rich Asian asshole, there’s a rich white banker asshole, and finally, the one that got the complaints, the rich black boxer asshole.
Here it is if you haven’t seen it:
I actually love this whole series of ads and the one with the Russian and his little pet giraffe cracks me up every time. The white banker one is kind of funny, but not their best work. The Asian “Whale” one is pretty well done, too. The boxer one is good, but not as good as the Russian guy…
By the way, that Russian guy is played by an Irish guy faking an accent. Apparently, recently he got into a brawl in a bar and the news freaked a little because he was “connected” to DirecTV. DirecTV actually handled it pretty well reminding everybody that he was just an actor in their commercials and their VP of advertising and communication said, Jon Gieselman, “I’m pretty sure Tim is not the first Irishman to be in a bar when a fight breaks out.”
You catch that last part? That’s actually a little racist, but the cool part is, Irishmen aren’t pissed off by stuff like that anymore. We (yes we, I’m Scotch-Irish; My last name is Ferguson, did you think I was Dutch?) embraced it a long time ago and got on with our lives.
The thing that kind of pisses me off about the assholes that made all these comments is that they’re the kind of assholes that would probably make the same sort of jokes at their own expense, but get really pissed off when other people do. Notice I didn’t just say black people, because these kind of assholes know no race or creed. These are the kind of assholes that can’t take a joke, they can just sling them. What a bunch of assholes.
Are the folks at Summers Eve racist assholes?
There were a series of ads that came and went so quickly that a lot of people didn’t even get to see them. In fact, you may never get to see them because when they got pulled, they got pulled hard, which is why I can’t embed one of them here. All I can show you is a screen shot from the one featuring a black hand impersonating a vagina.
Yep, you read that right… it’s a talking hand that represents a talking vagina. They had a black one, a Latina one, and a white one. All three of the ads were horrible, poorly written, and just plain goofy. However, none of them were racist.
Again, if we follow the line of logic that states it’s not a good idea to be racist if you’re trying to sell something to someone, then Summers Eve was in fact just ignorant and bad at its job, but I seriously doubt they are racist in the slightest. Sure, Jezebel and a bunch of other blogs can say they are racists to get the headline grab and start a fire in their comment areas, but in reality, there was nothing racist about these ads… they were just stupid.
Sure, you could just say that I’m just a blogger as well, and that’s true, but I’m also one that can’t stand the current state of hyperbolic, yellow writing that passes for journalism these days. I may cuss a bunch in my posts, but that’s mostly because I don’t get to write like this anywhere else and I think it’s funny as hell.
We need to get out of this racist habit
This isn’t the first time this has come up; people claim all kinds of ads are racist all the time. I’ve pointed a few of them out here on this blog (“Australia KFC ad not racist, just goofy. Get the hell over it.”) and I can remember this lame ass controversy around HPs facial recognition software where in both cases it was a knee jerk reaction to label it “racist.”
Just like with a lot of other words out there today, like “literally” or “inconceivable,” it’s like we’ve forgotten the real meaning of the term and use it for anything that is close. Lately, I’ve been trying to break my six year old of using the term “literally” for the word “actually,” but that’s about the age you’re supposed to be doing that because he’s still getting the full grasp of the language. The rest of the grown ups of the world shouldn’t have that problem and so they shouldn’t use the word “literally” when they mean “actually” and they shouldn’t use the word “racist” when things really aren’t racist.
Take it from a guy that grew up in Paramount, CA – when you do and say things that are racist, it doesn’t result in a blog comment; you get your ass handed to you.