So, apparently I’m in London for a week and when I get back and all I see is people getting all wound up about some of the Super Bowl ads that were directed at men.  Notice I’m not saying sexist, because most of the ads that have been deemed sexists by sites like The Frisky just aren’t sexist at all.  In fact, they aren’t even about “Women Emasculating Men” like the title of the article suggests, except maybe that fucking Dodge commercial, which I hated anyway.

The real problem with that ad was that they don’t mention the damn product until the end of the spot.  The more I think about it, the more it pisses me off.  All it would have taken was some better editing and it just would have been a better commercial.

Anyway, don’t get me started on that again, we could be here all day.  No, we’re here to discuss the “response” ad that was put together by Mackenzie Fegan last week in record time.

Outside of the $0.75 to a dollar number that was proven wrong back in the 70s*, you have some pretty solid points. However, you also have to realize that the agency probably pulled their punches on this one because they were trying to be funny, not be a dick towards women. Given a minute or two, I’m sure they could come up with some equally shitty issues that are unique to men, but that would be damn depressing, which is a bad tone when you’re trying to sell sports cars.  So, whatever… life sucks for the both of us. Trust me, honey, I’m the first to say that no one has the market cornered on pain, suffering, or being an asshole about who has more pain and suffering in their lives. I swear, if we all spent less time bitching about the other side and just realize we’re all equally crazy, we could solve a lot more of the serious problems in the world like cancer or why people in the UK think it’s OK to eat “prawn cocktail” flavored potato chips.

The real point I need to make here is just how easy it was for Fegan to put that response together. Outside of the product shots at the end of the Dodge commercial, they are on the same page as far as production value, but I bet the one from the agency cost a boat load more to do and took ten times as long to produce. Plus, the fact that her spoof is done in the same style and makes no mention of brand shows what a poor excuse for a commercial Dodge produced for the most expensive media buy of the year.

So, thanks to Mackenzie for proving my point that this was a suck ass commercial in the first place. Is the original commercial sexist? Of course it is, it was supposed to be. But then again, so was the response, so I guess we’re even.

Now that we’re done with this crap, would one of you ladies mind getting me a beer while you’re… Hey! That was at my head!

J.

* Basically, it’s not true… yes, women on average in aggregate make less than men on average in aggregate, but only because there are more men in higher paying jobs, not strictly because of sexism. When more women become CEOs, VPs, etc., then the gap will close up. In fact, it has been closing up for years now. The whole “for the same job” is a whole different issue that they have laws against now. I know, just because there’s a law doesn’t mean it can’t happen, but if it is, you can fix that shit now and be done with the problem.

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This is why I held off on posting my Super Bowl reviews for a bit because I knew everybody else was going to go first and most of what they had to say was “oh, this was funny” or “this was stupid!”  However, if you notice, none of them are really talking about advertising or the mechanics that go into ad creation, they are just talking like someone gives a shit about what they think about a commercial.  If you’re looking for that kind of commentary, you can fuck off now…

Oh, stuck around did ya? Well good… you’ve got a brain in your head.

So, for my reviews of the various ads used during the big game, I’m going to lump ads together based on very similar problems I’m noticing.  For instance, this set of ads are those that don’t know how to sell their brand in the medium that was practically made for brand advertising, TV.

By the way, it’s not say that some of these ads aren’t funny or entertaining or whatever, the point is that they could be for anything up to the point where they finally slap a brand logo on the spot. For instance, look at this one below. Hit pause at about the 25 second mark, do your best to ignore the title of the ad, and then keep reading:

Now, if you paused like I asked… tell me what brand or product that commercial is promoting? You can’t tell can you? You may recall it’s for TruTV’s new NFL show, but up to that point, that commercial could be selling little football player dolls, or uniforms, or Sports Center, or whatever. It’s a great bit, I know I laughed at it during the game, but good luck on me remembering what the hell they were selling.

Here’s another one that people claim they really like, but fails at promoting the brand or product. Pause this one at about the 45 second mark and then keep reading:

Now this one was a long sucker, a full minute long spot, which means they spent almost twice as much as a regular spot, yet you have to get all the way to the end to find out it’s for a Dodge Charger. Again, up to that point, it could be for damn near anything that pussy whipped men want, but hen pecking women won’t let them have (let’s be honest here folks, there are guys who check with their chicks and then there are guys who buy a big friggin’ Mustang GT when they want one). Even if you recall this was a car commercial, after a few weeks, there is a good chance you’ll forget which car it was for because they only mention it once at the end of the ad.

I can do this shit all day, folks… here’s another one that has the same problem, besides failing on a lot of other fronts. Once again, about the 45 second mark for the pause:

What’s it for? Life insurance? A dating site? Birth control? Who the hell knows up until the big reveal at the end and you find out it’s a new line of soap for men by Dove. By the way, I think that line is going to fail miserably. Not because Dove doesn’t make great soap. Hell, I’ve used the regular stuff for years now. But if you’re a man and you’re looking at a men’s product, are you going to reach for something called Dove or Axe? If Dove wanted to break into the men’s market, all they needed to do was dump their stuff in another bottle and call it “Steel” or “Flaming Wood” or whatever and guys would snatch that shit up.

Now, I can hear the agency wonks cry, “But Jeff, those are high concept ads, we have to reveal it that way!” Do you? Do you really? Because here’s arguably one of the funnier ads that ran during the game and you know what product its selling every damn second:

Agencies should not only be embarrassed that they made those other ads that failed their brands, but that they got shown how to do it right by a commercial that was not only funny as hell, but created as part of a contest. Think it was fluke? Here’s another user generated ad for the same brand:

Who dat ad for? Doritos, Doritos, Doritos!

Here’s one more that was actually generated by an agency that is totally high concept, but still manages to get the brand in nice and early:

See that? The beaver found his new life on Monster.com way before the title card at the end, so you know what the hell the ad was selling! None of this guessing shit, no big reveal for dramatic effect. The ads just sell product. Now, I don’t think that beaver ad was all that funny, but I know some people at my Super Bowl party that laughed at it, so it worked on a couple of fronts.

My point here is that, you pay $2.6 million for a 30 second spot, even more for a full minute, plus you pay for the production of the ad, the actors, the agency and all its little workers and you approve an ad that could be for anybody? If you want an ad that sticks, you get your brand out there nice and early and often and you don’t let people walk away wondering who the ad was for later.

Sure, there are exceptions, but they are very, very rare. You could pull out the Apple 1984 ad, but ask someone outside the biz if they remember that one and what it was selling, especially since it only ran once, and you’ll see what I mean.

Get your act together before you slip something into the most expensive media placements around. Your job is to move product, and you suck at it.

J.

Related posts:

1. Ah, there it is. GoDaddy.com Super Bowl ad is banned.
2. Super Bowl Sneak Preview (from some other rag)
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