Gillette all about smelling like a man, and making guys uncomfortable in the steam room

Jeff Ferguson — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:56:19 +0000

Oh, lucky, lucky day… I love it when crappy commercials fall in my lap.

Oddly enough, this find was the result of looking at what is actually a pretty great response commercial from Gillette to Dove’s new “I’m a Man!” commercial from the Super Bowl.

Sure, it took them about a month, but I have to admit, that’s pretty fast for an agency working for a big, old company like Gillette these days. It’s a funny visual, it gets to the point, and if you look close enough, they even took the time to make the competitor’s bottle look feminine with a little butterfly. Nicely done.

But then you gotta break my heart with this piece of crap for their razor line:

For starters, it’s just not that funny, but more importantly, they break a couple of important steam room rules within seconds. First, you don’t ever talk in the steam room, even to your buddies, and second, you certainly don’t ever touch me in the steam room.

Trust me, if a bunch of redneck race car drivers and their pit crew call out my sensitive skin in the steam room, I’m more worried about them reenacting a scene from Deliverance than a close shave.

All of Tiger Wood’s dead tree friends are running for the hills…

Jeff Ferguson — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 18:01:05 +0000

I awoke from my beer induced haze this morning to see the AP headline, “Gillette to limit Woods’ role in its marketing” (link) and even with some of the alcohol rolling around in my body, I said to myself, “well that took longer than I thought it would.” Not just for the sponsors to start running for the hills, but also, Tiger should have outed himself as a fuck up a long time ago.

A friend of mine, who dated some pro athletes awhile back, was asked what she thought of all this back when it first started coming out. She replied, “well, I know professional athletes, so none of this is surprising.”

I think we were initially surprised that it was Tiger pulling this shit because it was golf, and golf is boring as hell… and I play the damn game. I always thought Tiger a little boring, a little too perfect. I like my golfers like John Daly used to be, drunk, drugged up, fat, and crazy as hell. What’s ironic is that this train wreck, who used to take out a fifth of Jack every day for awhile there, is chiming in with advice on how Tiger should save his marriage (link). Man, when John Daly is giving you marriage advice, you have officially hit rock bottom.

Dead Tree advertisers love themselves a big ole’ star to hook themselves onto; however, they also tend to run like scared little children when that hero’s true colors come out and they fuck up in a grand fashion, like our friend Tiger Woods truly has been lately. But man that took awhile… huh. Maybe if Tiger got himself a drug habit or worse (gasp!) a homosexual lover, then they would have dropped him faster than Lindsey Lohan can drop a fifth of vodka. Apparently a dozen or so extramarital trysts don’t really shake them up too much. Hell, they guys that run these companies are probably calling to welcome him to the club.

I saw on Mashable yesterday that Accenture starting pulling him out of the picture (link). I was walking through DFW earlier this week, and in the American terminal they have this big interactive, touch screen where you can get news, weather, and whatnot, all sponsored by Accenture. I look up and see that Tiger had his own tab on the screen and touched it fully expecting a collection of news articles about all the craziness lately. Instead, it’s a collection of puff pieces and videos about his humble beginnings and I was suddenly reminded that Accenture was yet someone else that was in bed with Tiger.

So here goes Gillette, Accenture 86’d him yesterday, AT&T realized it sponsored a golf tournament with the guy and freaked right the fuck out (link), and Gatorade made some wussy statement about their involvement with him changing… apparently they were already planning on phasing him out (link). Nothing personal Tiger, best of luck with the marriage thing.

Wait a minute, now I see what’s done it… that’s right, Tiger is getting out of golf for awhile (link). “Tiger, we were cool with you fucking your way through every big busted blonde you can find, but you do have to keep playing golf to get our advertising dollar.”

Keep is classy, Dead Tree Media, keep it classy…

Dead Tree Media - Traditional Advertising Reviewed by an Internet Marketer » Gillette

Gillette all about smelling like a man, and making guys uncomfortable in the steam room

All of Tiger Wood’s dead tree friends are running for the hills…