This is why I fucking hate these ads from CarMax so very much (there are two in a row here):

Car Max – Not Smart Series

Now, the “laws” that they are stating, as far as I can tell from a little research, could very well be actual laws.  The problem is that the two outrageous laws they use are usually part of a much longer list of “dumb laws” that have been forwarded around the net so many times that they are used as content filler on a bunch of shitty sites, so I have no friggin’ idea if they’re real or not.

I do know that University City, MO is a pretty affluent neighborhood, so the idea of them not allowing you to have a yard sale sign in your own front yard isn’t that crazy. It’s like how home owner associations don’t let you paint your front door hot pink or have inflatable nativity scenes in your front yard over the holidays. It’s tacky as hell and it makes the whole street look like shit.

As far as the peanuts after sunset on Wednesday, who the hell knows.  It probably had something to do with some bizarre business practice and it got left on the books so long that no one wants to take the time to fix the damn thing. It’s like how in Los Angeles, it’s illegal to throw anything out of your car window except water and chicken feathers because farmers who use to truck around their chickens kept getting pulled over for littering, so they had to modify the law.  Kind of dumb, but it makes sense once you know the back story.

These are basically a variation on the “joke looking for an ad” category of advertisements that I’ve brought up before.  Borne of pure laziness on the part of an agency or an in-house ad team, they basically have a stable of bad jokes and weird information that they will bend to their will when they’re under a tight deadline, despite the fact that the information has absolutely nothing to do with the brand or the product.

I remember awhile back, there was a local plumber (Mike Diamond, I think, the “smell good plumber”) who was doing some local radio. Whoever pulled the ads together for him got a hold of some folksy old wives tales (the forerunner to urban legends) and through copy writing magic turned them into advertising.  My favorite was one ad where they were explaining where the word “shit” came from, which they claimed was originally an acronym for “Ship High In Transit“, a phrase stamped onto crates of manure when placed on ships. This is completely false… I mean, it’s not even close, yet these yokels were selling it as the truth.  Now, if you can’t get your facts straight in a lazy ass ad, I’m not letting you anywhere near my pipes.

Same thing goes for you CarMax… you sell cars, idiots.  I’m not looking for your back woods legal advice, I just want you to take my trade in without asking about the blood stains in the back seat.

J.

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ATT-U-Verse-Radio-Spot-Lucky-Couch

Seriously, I love the way the guy shuts his wife down because he wants to sit on his “lucky couch” during the big game.  I love the sound of frustration in the woman’s voice when she herds the kids down to the basement.  It’s funny as hell and I’m happy to listen to this little gem each and every time it comes on the radio.  Hell, I know a few people who now sing the “game’s starting now… duh duh, duh duh… have fun in the basement!” lyrics when the NFL music comes on after each commercial break.

I get it…

Now here’s the problem… AT&T obviously doesn’t get what their product is actually good for in the first place. You see, the commercial starts with the wife asking our hero if the kids can watch TV in the living room and then the husband says he can’t because the game is coming on and he has to sit on his lucky couch or the team might lose.

Again, funny premise…

However, where it all goes wrong is when the wife, in an impromptu (and completely unnatural) description of the AT&T U-Verse product, explains that with that wonder of product, they can record up to four programs at once and watch them on any TV in the house.

The problem is, that has nothing to do with the friggin’ issue at hand! He’s watching live TV, right fucking now! What good is the fact that you can watch a recorded program on any TV in the house if he’s watching football right then and there? And why drag the innocent kids into the mix? It’s not like what they’re watching is appointment television… in fact, it’s probably just them watching The Lion King, or whatever kids are watching these days, for the 1,067th time this year. Why the fuck does she need to come up there, all high and mighty, and try and push the king of the castle down to the dungeon? I’m not a giant football fan, but I think if this chick tried this one me, I would send her to the basement with the kids out of principle and make her stay there until she learns a little something about modern DVR services.

But yes, very funny ad… clever even… cheers all around.  This may, in fact, be the first entry into a category I like to call “a joke looking for an ad.”  This is when a particularly clever copywriter has been sitting on a joke for some time and, in an act of desperation, illogically attaches it to a commercial. Perhaps.

Then again, it could just be a regular ole’ fuck up. You see below in one of their TV spots, they actually do know how it works:

By the way, I blame AT&T here and not the agency because, while the agency created this goofy error, the CLIENT APPROVED THE DAMN THING! How many people did this thing pass through before it hit the air and not one person raised their hand to say, “um, hey… cute ad, but it really doesn’t work that way.”

You guys are lucky this came out funny…

J.

PS – I know I led with a few links to other sites and a summary of the Tiger Woods crap, but these types of reviews of dead tree advertisers are the real heart of this publication… we just had to figure out the technical stuff with the ads and I had to punt… just sayin’…

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